The Apology Insufficiency

I can't embed this one although I so want to, so if you want to watch it you can click through to: http://youtu.be/1O5SF4gIycA

Or you can read the following. Just to set it up, Howard was supposed to be part of some elite engineering group for Nasa and he needed security clearance. So Leonard, Raj and Sheldon get visits from an FBI agent who is trying to dig up the dirt on Howard. Leonard hits on her, Raj gets drunk so he can actually talk to her and Sheldon, well, Sheldon tells her about Howard crashing the Mars Rover while trying to impress a girl. Needless to say, Howard doesn't get his security clearance, and when he finds out why, he vows never to speak to Sheldon again.

Sheldon apologises but no go. Sheldon decides to take to drink. He still doesn't feel better. (Maybe because he spits out the drink without swallowing). He tries to talk to the FBI agent and take back what he says. Still no go. So here he is, making the supreme gesture, the ultimate sacrifice. (You gotta follow the show to know just how supreme a gesture this is)

Leonard, Howard and Raj are having their lunch at the university cafeteria. Sheldon enters carrying a large bag that says Comic Con.

Sheldon: Hello all.

All except Howard: (grunt in greeting)

Sheldon (nodding, attempting to practise NLP): Howard, you're feeling better about me today, aren't you?

Howard (looking puzzled): Not really.

Sheldon (still nodding vigorously): Yes you are. I'm using neuro-linguistic programming to modify your thought patterns.

Howard (starting to nod and looking as if he's about to break into a smile and changing his mind at the last minute): No I'm not. Go away!

Sheldon (stops nodding): There's a $9.95 e-book down the drain.

Raj: What's in the bag?

Sheldon: It's for Howard.

Howard: Sheldon, you can't fix this with gifts.

Sheldon: Nevertheless, I've hurt you. And whether you forgive me or not, I want you to have this.

Howard pulls out a brown leather cushion from the bag: You're giving me a couch cushion?

Sheldon: The cushion is merely symbolic. I'm giving you my spot on the couch.

STUNNED SILENCE

Howard (clearly touched): But you love that spot.

Sheldon: No, I love my mother. My feelings for my spot are much greater. It is the singular location in space around which revolves my entire universe. And now it's yours.

Raj (starting to cry): Oh my God dude, now you have to forgive him.

Howard: All right, apology accepted.

Sheldon (putting up his right hand): High five.

Howard extends his hand and Sheldon instinctively pulls back.

Sheldon: Not too hard.

They give each other an emasculated high five.

Sheldon: Thank you. (reaches into his pocket to get a bottle of liquid sanitiser)

Raj (fanning his face with his right hand like a diva and weeping some more): I haven't cried like this since Toy Story 3.

Sheldon surreptitiously sanitises his hand as the others watch him

Scene closes.