Other people

Day 3 of the Dan Joseph newsletter. Does it seem like I'm cheating, breaking up one newsletter into three? But there were three questions. And three answers. And I believe that each of them should be taken and considered separately. 

Don't skim. Absorb.

Q. Everyone talks about how meditation and "finding your light" practices are so helpful. But I don't find that they help me much at all. I try these practices, and can't get out of my head. I don't get a sense of peace or anything. Is there something extra I can try?

A: To begin, I want to acknowledge that meditation-style practices are challenging and often require a great deal of persistence. At the outset, the mind is much like an excited puppy bouncing off everything in sight. It can take many repeated practices before the puppy begins to calm down.

Along those lines, there are two main "skills" involved in the practices I describe:

1. The ability to focus the mind
2. The willingness to open to a new experience

If one of these practices seems more challenging, you may want to spend some time developing your comfort with it.

Virtually every meditation-style practice involves focusing the mind. Without the capacity to hold focus, you will likely find your awareness of peace coming and going, rising and falling, shifting in and out of awareness.

I find that almost any type of focusing practice can help with this dynamic. Some people focus on their breaths in meditation, pulling their attention back to the breath whenever it wanders. Other people gaze at a candle or other stimulus, bringing the mind back to the object whenever extraneous thoughts or feelings pull you away.

A word or phrase can also be used as a focal point. The workbook of A Course in Miracles offers a short spiritual statement each day to focus on. Books of "affirmations" also contain these statements. You are free to come up with your own word or phrase as well. The word, phrase, or statement becomes the focal point: you repeat it calmly and slowly, over and over, pulling your attention to it and away from other distractions.

Speaking personally, it took me a great number of practice sessions before I felt my mind becoming comfortable with focus in meditation. And of course, I still encounter a good deal of distraction and resistance at times! Each step along the way is helpful. With practice, the mind becomes more able to hold focus.

In addition to focus, almost all of the practices I describe also involve opening to a new experience – the experience of inner peace, or the wise mind, or our inner light.

The key in this skill is willingness. We develop, through practice, a willingness to release our current swirl of thoughts and feelings, and open our hearts and minds to a new experience.

Imagery can be helpful with this phase. You may want to imagine your thoughts like leaves floating by on a stream, or clouds floating by in the sky. You note each one, and express your willingness to let it pass by. Then you express your willingness to open – even for just a moment – to a deeper sense of peace.

Developing this willingness comes easier with practice. It is not an ability that some people just "have" and others "don't have." It is a skill that the mind will become more comfortable with through practice.

If you find it helpful, you may want to stop periodically through the day – perhaps every hour, on the hour – to practice these skills. Even a minute, or less, can be helpful. As my friends can attest, I spent years setting an hourly chime on my phone in order to remind me to stop and practice.

2021 can be a year devoted to steps toward the experience of peace. Even if you encounter resistance along the way, each bit of practice will help.

As the year turns, you are in the company of millions of others around the world who practice with you. We walk together toward the light, and I am deeply grateful for all of our efforts.