How Women Lead

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How Women Lead by Sharon Hadary and Laura Henderson should be required reading for all female managers, although the name is rather misleading. This book is not so much about how women lead (although the first chapter does pay tribute to their strengths as managers), but about how they should lead. It is chockfull of practical advice about things that male managers seem to know instinctively, but most female managers either don’t know, or are too diffident to put into practice, for fear of seeming too forward.

It’s time to throw off the shackles, the authors, say. Learn to promote and position yourself. Always be aware of your worth to the company (in fact, calculate it, and if you don’t know how, learn!).  Keep a stock of all your contributions, put a dollar value on it and during your annual review, have it at hand when you’re discussing your progress and promotion and exactly what kind of raise you are looking for.

Even if you’re very good at doing the technical stuff, upskill to learning how to handle other people doing the technical stuff. And above all, don’t micro-manage. …and …point out that for most female managers, micro managing ends up being the killer:

One of women’s strengths is their commitment to providing quality products and services. Conversely, one of the things that can hold them back is believing that the best way to ensure this level of quality is to stay personally involved in every aspect of the day-to-day operations, they point out. Resist the temptation.

“When you stay involved at that level, you end up doing so many things that you are not doing any of them well and no one is leading the integration of all parts. The result is that you become the greatest barrier to the growth and success of your project or function,” they say.

And while literature may be rife with the “fickleness” of women, according to this book, one of their main drawbacks in career advancement, is being too loyal to a company, because it’s been good to them. They stay even when there’s nothing more to be learned or nowhere to grow into. Know when to leave, is a crucial piece of advice. But, when leaving, you should not just be looking at your new renumeration package. You should investigate the new company’s culture to see if it’s a fit.

And as for remuneration, here’ the two authors say a little bit of outside help never hurt. If you don’t know what the industry average is for your new position, or what kind of value you will be bringing into the new company, get the help of an expert to calculate it.

Another thing is personal branding. Many women toss off emails lightly without bothering to check or edit, not realizing that a little mistake goes a long way towards branding them. Or their phone manner. Did you know that your physical appearance and voice account for 93% of that first impression, and that first impressions stick? Which means your content is only worth 7% of what people think of you. Sad, but true.

The authors recommend that you spend as much as you can possibly afford on quality clothes. Men understand this and dress for the part. It’s a lot harder for women, as there are too many choices available. Go for a balance between sexy and dowdy, if you expect to be taken seriously. Too sexy, they will be looking at you but not listening, and too dowdy, well, they will neither look nor listen. And invest in the services of a really good hairdresser.

Basically the book is divided into eight chapters, each with a crucial pointer for women in their journey as managers. At first you will be tempted to think that it is just another wishy-washy tome, advocating woo woo strengths like “intuition” and bringing “motherhood” to bear on the job.

 But it doesn’t. The advice comes straight from the gut from women who have made it to the top and it’s very practical. For instance in the chapter on self promotion, it tells women to push themselves forward for awards (feminine modesty be damned), put themselves out there to make speeches (even detailing the four core speeches that can be prepared and adapted to the four main audiences they will be called to give speeches to), get a sponsor within the company (who knows your strengths and will bear you in mind the next time there is an opening higher up), several mentors…the list goes on.

 It points out that doing the best work that you can, and expecting to get recognized based on merit, is old hat and frankly, it doesn’t work. You’ve got to put yourself forward. Men, by some strange instinct, or maybe old boy’s club mentoring, seem to understand that. Women don’t. It’s time they did.

 Many of the suggestions will feel uncomfortable, but the more uncomfortable, apparently, the better. One of the main suggestions in the book is to get comfortable with being uncomfortable. This is not a book for the fainthearted. If you’re contented with being where you are and moving up the corporate ladder, slowly if at all, don’t bother with it.

 But if you’re determined to make it up there, this book will help you. Note that it does not advocate sleeping your way to the top (advice on inter-office affairs? Don't!), backstabbing or office politics. Every suggestion will require a great deal of homework, and work. But if you’re tired of being overlooked,), watching your male colleagues trip up that ladder gaily, while you stay behind and make their coffee, this is the book for you.