This is a letter from Mbali Creazzo that was at the end of the book, 29 Gifts. Enjoy, my friends!
Dear Reader,
Sawubona, as the Zulus say in greeting.
The 29-Day Giving Challenge originated as an African ritual, but it's perfect for people living in the Western world. Giving of any kind - even a simple action - begins the process of change, and moves us to remember that we are part of a much greater universe.
The ritual of giving 29 gifts in 29 days came to me when my life was in a place of scarcity. I had been laid off from a job of eight years that I loved, and I feared I would lose everything. This 29-Day giving ritual was prescribed by a healer in a Divination similar to those I perform for my students today. This method of Divination is a type of intuitive reading, using tools such as shells, bones, or stones to help people navigate their present situation based on information received from their ancestors.
In my work as a healer, I draw from the Dagara African tradition, first introduced to me by Malidoma Patrice Some, an educator and shaman who has written many books and speaks all over the world. Like many practices of a spiritual nature, my work is often subject to skepticism. It takes a special kind of faith and willingness to pursue healing through such nontraditional methods. For some, like Cami, it is desperation and frustration with a lack of progress through "traditional" means that brings people to my doorstep. I do not claim to offer "cures" and would never suggest a person abandon treatment by qualified medical professionals, but rather add any alternative healing techniques that resonate with them to complement their healing.
When I went to one of my teachers for a Divination during a challenging time in my own life, I remember feeling that to give at this time seemed more an act of recklessness on my part than kindness to others. I also recall feeling fearful about "giving up" what little I believed I had to call my own. But as a risk taker, I decided to embrace the 29-day giving ritual with an open heart.
I would like to relate just one of my giving experiences from my own 29-day giving ritual. During my Divination, my teacher told me that one of my gifts should be to a homeless woman on the street. My teacher said I would know the woman when I saw her. I had to give her a specific sum of money and buy her a meal. This may sound familiar to you from Cami's story in this book.
I carried the specific sum of cash in the car, and one evening I finally saw the woman I thought was "the one" after scanning the streets every day for a week. I was on my way home at midnight after a long, stressful day working in a homeless shelter. I felt I had given more than enough during my shift at work, and frankly, I felt resentful about having to give more that night. I could have easily gone home to my warm bed, but something told me to see this through.
It took me a while to find a place that served food that was still open. After I picked up the meal, I drove back hoping the woman would still be in the same spot. Of course, she wasn't. She had walked some distance, but I drove until I found her.
When I handed the food and wad of dollar bills to this woman, something profound happened to me. I was overwhelmed with humility and felt very comforted and peaceful. I also felt a rush of energy that refueled my spirit that, less than one hour ago, felt drained. I was curious as to why I felt so good afterward. Giving that night felt like a gift to me. When I reflected on it later, I came to this realization: When I am in service to another person, I am moving from a place of self-centeredness to selflessness. The act of giving inherently carries gratitude in it. For me, it is impossible to give without feeling grateful.
When that woman took her meal and money from my hand, I realized how much I did have. Just a week earlier, I was in a deep place of scarcity. I now felt instantly abundant. I did not have to walk the streets or sleep in the cold with nowhere to shower. I was not hungry, nor did I have to beg for money every day to survive. Last week, I was feeling lost, scared, angry, and sorry for myself, yet offering this simple gift made me feel so much more alive. I remember going home that night and getting on my knees to give thanks. Then I reflected on the genius of the diviner in her 'prescription'. I'm sure she knew that to connect with a homeless person on the street at this time would remind me of how much I still had and jostle me out of my self-pity.
That night, I chose to take my medicine by offering that gift. Not only did I feel better, but my life changed as a result. I left the job I was sad to lose and began to focus more on my healing practice. I began to pursue my goals of becoming an HIV/AIDS educator and counselor. It was not long after this that I began doing healing work with Cami.
After the night I offered my gift to the woman on the street, I took the following nine lessons with me:
1. When I give with an open heart, I receive the profound gift of humility.
2. Gratitude keeps my heart open.
3. Giving opens space for me to receive because giving and receiving are part of the same naturally reciprocal cycle.
4. Selflessness does not mean giving of myself to the extent that I am left depleted.
5. When I give from a place of service, honesty, and fullness, I am left feeling revitalized.
6. When I give from a place of responsibility and resentment, I negate the give and nothing changes. In fact, I'm often left feeling resentful and drained.
7. When I am immersed in self-centeredness as opposed to self-love, I become isolated and lonely and I forget I am part of a greater whole. The last thing I want to do is give.
8. When I give, I am living the practice of being truly human. When I practice making mindful connections with others, my life feels meaningful, there it is.
9. I rarely move back into a place of scarcity when I remember to give mindfully each day.
I believe the 29-Day Giving Challenge is fitting for the Western world because a scarcity mindset is common to many of us, no matter how much we have materially. Though most of us have no experience of the depth of scarcity that exists in African countries, we often believe we are not successful enough, rich enough, beautiful or thin enough. We simply don't have enough or are not good enough We become so lost in our sense of lack, low self-esteem, and nonexistent self-love, that we forget that our life is an essential part of a greater whole, and that we have many gifts to offer to the world at large.
I passed on this giving prescription to Cami out of fierce compassion and deep concern for her higher good. She could have chosen to take offense and stay stuck or accept the challenge and take action. She had the courage to choose the latter. I hope you will as well.
I hope you commit to your own 29-Day Giving Challenge and enjoy your journey. You can also use the online journal provided free at www.29Gifts.org to keep a record of your experience. As you begin, I invite you to turn giving into a sacred ritual. Bring mindfulness to your daily giving practice and your journaling, so it becomes a transformative experience you will want to remember and refer back to.
In addition to journaling each day about the gift you offered, I suggest you also take time over your 29 days to reflect and write about the following:
* Gratitude: Note at least three things you feel grateful for each day. This may be anything from a family member, your health, shelter, or nature.
* Lineage: Over your 29 Days, take time to reflect on the tradition and history of giving in your family. What lessons did you learn from your parents, grandparents, or other ancestors about giving? Were you taught that you are worthy to receive and that your unique gifts are valued? Do you experience feelings of guilt when you acknowledge yourself for giving? Reflection allows you time to integrate your experiences and remember the lessons that want to emerge. Remember what might seem insignificant may hold some symbol, metaphor or message that is calling your attention.
* Awareness: Decided that you will go through each day being open to opportunities to give. Take action, and be mindful of what comes up for you emotionally. Does it feel hard or easy to give? Can you notice why you are having certain feelings? Is your desire to offer this gift connected to an experience that you remember from your past? Was there some resistance to taking action or resentment after the give?
* Service: Try your best to approach offering each gift from an authentic desire to be of service to others. Take note of the times you go out of your way to help another person. What touched you about the person that compelled you to want to give? Are the traits that attracted you to the person somehow mirroring your own experience of life?
* Surprises: Approach this ritual with a willingness to be curious and surprised. Don't go in assuming that you will learn something specific, solve a problem or have an earth-moving experience. Instead, notice what surprises you about your give each day. Did you get an unexpected reaction from the recipient of your gift? Did extending yourself to another person bring up emotions you didn't anticipate? Did you receive something surprising in return?
* Receiving: When you give, it opens space for you to receive. Plus, saying "yes" to the gifts that are offered allows you to feel the joy of giving. Each day, notice if your heart feels open or constricted when you receive an offering from another person. Can you easily accept their gifts with gratitude? Do you feel deserving of the gift? Do you give yourself permission to receive with an open heart?
* Nonattachmnment: Give your gifts with an open heart, without any expectations about what you might want to receive in return. In fact, try this: What if you were to give away something that you feel you could never part with? It could be a material thing, or perhaps a deeply held belief, behaviour, or way of thinking that you feel isn't serving you anymore. Try this at least once over your 29 Days and take notice of changes you see in your life in upcoming months.
Here are a few more suggestions that should help you enjoy your 29-Day Giving Challenge:
* Set a date to begin your 29-Day Giving Challenge so that you may begin with intention.
* Start Day 1 with a short meditation about your purpose in doing this exercise. Be clear. If your intentions are vague or the energy is half-hearted, your experience will mirror that.
* Consider beginning each day of your challenge with a meditation and write out an affirmation for your day. Examples include:
- Today I give with love.
- Today I give with gratitude.
- Today I give with patience.
- Today I give with joy.
- Today I give with abundance.
* Your gifts can be anything offered to anyone - spare change, cans of soup, your time, kind words or thoughts. Anything you mindfully offer to another person 'counts'. That said, watch out for gives that are coming from the following places within yourself because you will likely feel drained when giving from this space:
- The Bartering Give: If I give, I am good and I will be rewarded.
- The Obligated Give: I have to give because it's expected of me.
- The Guilty Give: If I don't give, I will have bad karma.
- The Begrudging Give: He's got new shoes on, he can't need money that badly.
- The Resentful Give: I suppose I better give because it's Day 15, even though I just spent $300 on new brakes for my car.
* Give at least once a day for 29 consecutive days so that the energy around the ritual gathers momentum. If you do not give one day, I suggest starting again at Day 1 to release the energy and allow it to build again. If this is too much for you, just pick up the next day where you left off. The important thing is not to quit.
There is a beautiful philosophy from South Africa, my own homeland, called Ubuntu. Simply, it means, "humanity to others." As Reverend Desmond Tutu says, "My humanity is inextricably bound up in yours." Even if we have a little, and we share our gifts with other human beings, our own experience of abundance and our sense of humanity are all multiplied exponentially. In the spirit of Ubuntu, reach inside and find the courage to give and I trust you will be thrilled with the transformation you experience. I wish you well on your 29 Gifts journey.
May the ancestors bless and protect you always.
Mbali Creazzo
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