Single Moms

And then of course, there are the single parent families. Take SV, who, after being told she would never have children in her early 20s because of the removal of one fallopian tube and extensive damage in the other, found herself pregnant at 39.

It was surreal. “I told Dr Ashraf about what happened to me before and how the doctors told me I could never have a child. He waited for me to finish and told me again that I was pregnant.”

SV decided to keep the child and not to do an amniocentesis to see if something were wrong. Although having a baby late in life increased the risk, she knew she would not terminate the pregnancy even if something were detected. “If I was meant to have this child, I would be equipped for anything that came with it.”

Now that she had made her decision, the next challenge was letting her family know: “My family has always been very supportive of anything I have ever done. But both my parents were elders in a religious community and I was worried about how the news would affect them.”

They came through beautifully. Her mother, whom she told first, was fully supportive, although she reminded her that it would not be easy for a woman in this community to be a single mother.

Wondering how to break the news to her father, she decided to write him a letter. She ended the letter asking him to take his time to absorb the news. If he couldn’t accept it, she would be very hurt, but would understand.

“Barely an hour later, he called me on the telephone and said, Mola (daughter), come,” she remembered.

He told her he was very happy with the news, having always wanted a grandchild. “Don’t worry about the community, people will always have something to say. When it comes, we will deal with it.”

Once she had broken the news to her family, it was a load off her mind. SV’s friends were also very supportive and they were not the kind to pass judgment. Besides, she was strong enough in herself not to mind if they did.

After a very easy pregnancy, in which she barely showed right up to the ninth month her son, a beautiful, healthy baby boy made his appearance, to be immediately embraced and loved, both by her family and friends, one of whom laughingly refers to him as SV’s “mini-me”.

With a mother who is in theatre full time, it was inevitable that the acting bug would bite. CJ appeared in his first play “Flight Delayed” at just two and a half, at the Singapore Arts Festival and has been acting ever since. SV described him as the usual healthy eight-year-old, naughty, loving, and at times, incredibly insightful.