Monday, 31 August 2015

Week 35: Validate Others

I offer this activity after last week's for a simple reason. I want to differentiate "getting credit" from "validation," although the line between them is very fine. Are we validating our partner when we gratefully acknowledge her/him completing a chore, or are we adding a debit to her/his account, the one we might be secretly keeping inside our heads?

Validation honors our humanness, the fact that we exist. It's like respect. The need to get credit comes from an injured or weaker place inside us, related to ego. Validation is connected to genuine appreciation. Getting credit is related to a form of accounting, the "I emptied the dishwasher, you need to take out the trash" way of thinking.

When we validate others, our actions flow through us, connecting us to something profound. Using this understanding, this week your exercise is to validate others in a way that makes sense to you.

In your journal, reflect on these questions: With whom do we do keep such credit ledgers? How does this serve you? Does it ever backfire? Do you keep such a ledger with yourself?

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