Wednesday, 2 December 2015

Jackie's Christmas List (Many Christmases Ago)

Dear All,

In keeping with the crass commercialism of the season, I've produced my own definitive Christmas list of all the things I absolutely can live without but wouldn't mind having anyway. Let's further exploit our already beleagured planet's diminishing resources as much as we can whilst we still can.


- a good pair of black jeans- the kind that has to be hand-sewn by little Indonesian orphans for the benevolent multinational corporations who take such good care of them;

- rubix cube, rubicube or whatever- I think it's gonna make a comeback and i wanna be at the forefront of this retro revolution;

- chef's hat and/or apron with funny and/or ironic message. (Ironic means ready-to-wear);

-comfy sandals- the kind Jesus wore. He walked a lot of miles, on land and water and didn't get corns;

- contact lenses- my New Year's resolution is to periodically stick my finger in my eye, so give me a reason to otherwise I'll be displaying behaviour that deviates from social and statistical norms and that can't be good for my image;

- Peace on Earth

Well that's all folks. Hope this gives you an insight into the complex inner workings of my mind... or whatever. Btw I was just kidding about the peace on earth bit.

Let's tear this century a new one!!!!


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