Friday, 21 January 2022

How Women Lead

More results of email archaeology...

How Women Lead by Sharon Hadary and Laura Henderson should be required reading for all female managers, although the name is rather misleading. This book is not so much about how women lead (although the first chapter does pay tribute to their strengths as managers), but about how they should lead. It is chockfull of practical advice about things that male managers seem to know instinctively, but most female managers either don’t know, or are too diffident to put into practice, for fear of seeming too forward.

It’s time to throw off the shackles, the authors, say. Learn to promote and position yourself. Always be aware of your worth to the company (in fact, calculate it, and if you don’t know how, learn!).  Keep a stock of all your contributions, put a dollar value on it and during your annual review, have it at hand when you’re discussing your progress and promotion and exactly what kind of raise you are looking for.

Even if you’re very good at doing the technical stuff, upskill to learning how to handle other people doing the technical stuff. And above all, don’t micro-manage. …and …point out that for most female managers, micro managing ends up being the killer:

One of women’s strengths is their commitment to providing quality products and services. Conversely, one of the things that can hold them back is believing that the best way to ensure this level of quality is to stay personally involved in every aspect of the day-to-day operations, they point out. Resist the temptation.

“When you stay involved at that level, you end up doing so many things that you are not doing any of them well and no one is leading the integration of all parts. The result is that you become the greatest barrier to the growth and success of your project or function,” they say.

And while literature may be rife with the “fickleness” of women, according to this book, one of their main drawbacks in career advancement, is being too loyal to a company, because it’s been good to them. They stay even when there’s nothing more to be learned or nowhere to grow into. Know when to leave, is a crucial piece of advice. But, when leaving, you should not just be looking at your new renumeration package. You should investigate the new company’s culture to see if it’s a fit.

And as for remuneration, here’ the two authors say a little bit of outside help never hurt. If you don’t know what the industry average is for your new position, or what kind of value you will be bringing into the new company, get the help of an expert to calculate it.

Another thing is personal branding. Many women toss off emails lightly without bothering to check or edit, not realizing that a little mistake goes a long way towards branding them. Or their phone manner. Did you know that your physical appearance and voice account for 93% of that first impression, and that first impressions stick? Which means your content is only worth 7% of what people think of you. Sad, but true.

The authors recommend that you spend as much as you can possibly afford on quality clothes. Men understand this and dress for the part. It’s a lot harder for women, as there are too many choices available. Go for a balance between sexy and dowdy, if you expect to be taken seriously. Too sexy, they will be looking at you but not listening, and too dowdy, well, they will neither look nor listen. And invest in the services of a really good hairdresser.

Basically the book is divided into eight chapters, each with a crucial pointer for women in their journey as managers. At first you will be tempted to think that it is just another wishy-washy tome, advocating woo woo strengths like “intuition” and bringing “motherhood” to bear on the job.

 But it doesn’t. The advice comes straight from the gut from women who have made it to the top and it’s very practical. For instance in the chapter on self promotion, it tells women to push themselves forward for awards (feminine modesty be damned), put themselves out there to make speeches (even detailing the four core speeches that can be prepared and adapted to the four main audiences they will be called to give speeches to), get a sponsor within the company (who knows your strengths and will bear you in mind the next time there is an opening higher up), several mentors…the list goes on.

 It points out that doing the best work that you can, and expecting to get recognized based on merit, is old hat and frankly, it doesn’t work. You’ve got to put yourself forward. Men, by some strange instinct, or maybe old boy’s club mentoring, seem to understand that. Women don’t. It’s time they did.

 Many of the suggestions will feel uncomfortable, but the more uncomfortable, apparently, the better. One of the main suggestions in the book is to get comfortable with being uncomfortable. This is not a book for the fainthearted. If you’re contented with being where you are and moving up the corporate ladder, slowly if at all, don’t bother with it.

 But if you’re determined to make it up there, this book will help you. Note that it does not advocate sleeping your way to the top (advice on inter-office affairs? Don't!), backstabbing or office politics. Every suggestion will require a great deal of homework, and work. But if you’re tired of being overlooked,), watching your male colleagues trip up that ladder gaily, while you stay behind and make their coffee, this is the book for you.


Thursday, 20 January 2022

How to sell financial services to women

 I have left my old job. And as I am clearing out the trash (actually and metaphorically and doing some email archaeology) I came across old articles which I would like to put some place because I thought them interesting. And useful.

So here:

If you read “How to give financial advice to women” by Kathleen Burns Kingsbury you will be left with the irrepressible notion that women have finally arrived. For such a book to be written, delving deeply into the psychology of women and how they communicate and how they prefer to be served and sold to, one can only assume that it must finally be worth the trouble.

It is. Kingsbury prefaces the book by making the business case. She is not going to tell male (or female) financial advisors, that they’d better bone up on “attentive listening”, an art in itself, if she doesn’t have the numbers to justify the effort.

Over the next 40 years in the US, she says women are due to inherit 70% of the US$41 trillion in intergenerational wealth transfers, or approximately US$28.7 trillion in assets. And the first thing they will do when they have inherited this wealth, is fire their present advisor. Why? Because most advisors have neither taken the time to know them or to study how best to reach out/relate to them.

Men, she says, are competitive by nature. Show them a bunch of charts to prove how your investment outperforms the index and they’re happy. Whip out the same bunch of charts with a woman at the start, and you may lose her as a client.

Her definition of success is not about winning and losing against the market, but on how well her portfolio performed in conjunction with her long-term life goals and objectives. He wants to win. She wants to survive and thrive.

Recently the Boston Consulting Group surveyed 12,000 women from 21 countries for its Global Inquiry into Women and Consumerism study and discovered women are most dissatisfied with the financial services industry, of all industries, on both a service and product level.

The financial services industry, Kingsbury points out, was created by men to serve the male wealth creator; therefore it is no wonder that women feel left out. They were and still are.

Approximately 80% of financial advisors, 90% of brokers and 84% of financial corporate officers are men. The industry’s best practices, marketing strategies, selling tactics, and investing protocols were and still are developed primarily using a male’s brain which thinks, acts and behaves differently than the female’s brain.

This misconception leads advisors to miss the boat when prospecting and advising women. The traditional transaction business model commonly used in financial services does not meet a woman’s social or neurological need for connection. Instead, a woman wants an ongoing coaching relationship with her financial advisor.

“She wants a professional who understands her first and sells to her second,” Kingsbury emphasizes.

Women are looking for female-friendly advisors to help them receive, build and pass on wealth. These advisors need to be knowledgeable, credentialed and competent. They must possess communication and relationship-building skills specifically designed for working with female clients. In addition, they must understand a woman’s need to build trust slowly, to be emotionally validated by her advisor and to be able to share her story as part of the financial planning process.

Sound like a tall order? Not if you think about what you, as a financial advisor, stand to gain. Or lose. Some fun facts: Women control the majority of personal wealth in the US. They make approximately 80% of family household buying decisions, including those related to banking and financial services. Of affluent women, 88% are moderately or highly involved in the oversight and management of their assets, one in five firms with revenue of US$1 million or more is woman-owned, the economic impact from women-owned businesses is US$2.8 trillion annually.

Kingsbury goes to lengths to spell out the psychology of women, how they think, feel and operate. She even maps out the differences in how the male and female brains work. If you think about it, the discovery of the differences is pretty recent, as late as the 1980s. Before that, male and female brains were thought to operate in the same way. Just like pre-Rousseau, children were considered miniature adults and childhood was not recognised as a separate state.

At the end of each chapter, she provides, little exercises for you to assess how female-friendly your practice is, how you define wealth, how you can use/adapt your present strengths for this market.

She even provides dialogues, a kind of what to do, and what not to do. Some of the conversations may appear tedious, and overly careful and I can imagine men rolling their eyes – no, you don’t whip out a solution when she presents a problem; first you listen, then you affirm her feelings without belittling her or her concerns, and then you both put your heads together and try to figure out a solution. It takes about five times longer than dealing with a man. And she is very detail-oriented. A desk without photographs, for instance, may raise eyebrows because it stays something about you.

When I shared ideas from this book with my colleagues, most of them said women here (in Malaysia) want to be treated the same as men. They want the charts, the “let’s not waste time making small talk but get on with it” attitude, but I wondered, for how much longer.

If men and women relate differently naturally and as women become more economically empowered, they will start asking for services that are skewed towards their natural predilections. And as Kingsbury says, don’t make the mistake of thinking that packaging will do the trick.

What are the rules for navigating the female world? They are many and complicated. But Kingsbury gives you six.

Firstly, women need to tell their story. If you want her as a client, you are going to have to learn to listen, ask curious, open-ended questions. Second, women tend to get personal quickly. Three, women communicate using feeling words. (“She will do most of the talking and emoting; you just need to listen, validate her feelings and show empathy.”) Women define success as being “indispensable”. They love to help and be seen as the go-to person for assistance. Men typically prefer to be independent and define success in terms of doing it alone.

The fifth rule is that women tend to remember details and read body language. Making eye contact, communicating interest through nonverbal communication and paying attention to details are very important in the female culture.  And finally, the last rule is that women are loyal. If you have secured her as a client, she is likely to not only stay with you, but refer you to more friends, family members and colleagues than your male clients.

The second half of the book takes you through actual conversations and exercises. If you don’t think the female market is worth your while, here’s where you would stop reading. But if you are looking to capture this not-so-niche market, you would probably do well to study this book carefully, read it several times, take notes.

Oh yes, and for crying out loud, put some photographs on your desk.


Sunday, 10 October 2021

Philosophy as a Way of Life


Every person -- whether Greek or Barbariian -- who is in training for wisdom, leading a blameless, irreproachable life, chooses neither to commit injustice nor return ihbhbt unto others, but to avoid the company of busybodies, and hold in contempt the places where they spend their time -- courts, councils, marketplaces, assemblies -- in short, every kind of meeting or reunion of thoughtless people. As their goal is a life of peace and serenity, they contemplate nature and everything found within her: they attentively explore the earth, the sea, the air, the sky, and every nature found therein. In thought, they accompany the moon, the sun, and the rotations of the other stars, whether fixed or wandering. Their bodies remain on earth, but they give wings to their souls, so that, rising into the ether, they may observe the powers which dwell there, as is fitting for those who have truly become citizens of the world. Such people consider the whole world as their city, and its citizens are the companions of wisdom; they have received their civic rights from virtue, which has been entrusted with presiding over the universal commonwealth. Thus, filled with every excellence, they are accustomed no longer to take account of physical discomforts or exterior evils, and they train themselves to be indifferent to indifferent things; they are armed against both pleasures and desires, and, in short, they always strive to keep themselves above passions...they do not give in under the blows of fate, because they have calculated its attacks in advance (for foresight makes easier to bear even the most difficult of the things that happen to be strange and novel, but its perception of them is dulled, as if it had to do with old and worn-out things). It is obvious that people such as these, those who find their joy in virtue, celebrate a festival their whole life long. To be sure, there is only a small number of such people; they are like embers of wisdom kept smouldering in our cities, so that virtue may not be altogether snuffed out and disappear from our race. But if only people everywhere felt the same way as this small number, and became as nature meant for them to be: blameless, irreproachable, and lovers of wisdom, rejoicing in the beautiful just because it is beautiful, and considering that there is no other good besides it...then our cities would be brimful of happiness. They would know nothing of the things that cause grief and fear, but would be so filled with the causes of joy and well-being that there would be no single moment in which they would not lead a life full of joyful laughter; indeed, the whole cycle of the year would be a festival for them.

Philo of Alexandria (Jewish philosopher)

Sunday, 17 January 2021

Life is messy

 Oh my, its Jan 17 and I have not updated this for three whole days. That's more than just a slip tween cup and lip.

I could argue that I have been busy with work, but really, it's because my sleeping patterns have all gone awry.

But yesterday was a very productive day. I met Sue-Ann for a shop (she advised me on shopping healthy and what to look for), I took Jinny for her second booster shot (three shots and she has been properly vaccinated for the year after which I have to schedule her spaying). And while I was at the vet, I managed to get my car battery changed and my air con fluid topped up. 

I came back to make myself a super healthy lunch (who would have thought that my problem with food was that I was actually starving myself with food that was high in sugar, low in any sort of nutrients?) Listening to a podcast on Happiness And How To Get It I realised that I have to add a lot more to my food rather than subtract. If I have low leptin levels its because my body is starving. If I want to become healthier, it has to be a lifestyle change rather than a quick fix. Well, I'm trying to keep up the walking (yeah, I do slip here as well) and the meditating (slip even more here), but life's a mess, I'm a mess and I get by the best I can.

When I watch these Korean shows, I marvel and how they never have a hair out of place. Everything is always just so.

As far as I can remember, I've never been neat and well turned out and just so.

Maybe that should be my task for the year.

Wednesday, 13 January 2021

Musings despite closing late which does not accord with my sense of what is fit and just in the world

It is 19.13 in the evening of a Wednesday, our first day of lockdown. I haven't gone anywhere and I woke up rather late (relatively) because I went to bed at about 3am this morning. Maybe 4. I was struggling through my cover story (but thank God, I had someone on the other end of the line helping me, working out the knotty problems with the tech bits etc).

Waking up, I moved around in a fog, aware that I had to feed the cats (Sheba had already thrown up magnificently in the study room, a sign that her breakfast was late), clean up the puke, have my breakfast, clean up the kitty litter...before I could really start my day.

I'm reading Yiyun Li's memoir right now: "Dear Friend, from My Life I Write to You in Your Life", which is apparently a quote from Katherine Mansfield's diaries. She has a thing for diaries. I love the book. It is her only memoir, written to try and understand her own depression, and I wonder how she feels revisiting this memoir, in the light of her 16-year-old son killing himself. 

But the book is very compelling. I came across Li through a New Yorker article she wrote where she said if she stopped smiling, she would have to weep. And the tears would never end. How does it feel when you put away those feelings, knowing they are there, waiting to leap out at you, when you least expect it?

My pullout is not closed -- mainly because of me and the cover I took so long to write, the one where I struggled through every word. And at the last minute, I have had to put something in, which means the closing has been delayed even further. Oh well.

What I can say is, I have been listening to various free podcasts on Audible (Mel Robbins' Start Here and Mary-Ann Ochota and Charlie George's Happiness and How to Get it and yesterday I listened to the last podcast of the series on brain food and realised that my dietary habits are terrible. I decided to mix it up today and have nutritionally rich food, so I got take-out from Salad Atelier - with runny eggs and wasabi honey and brown rice and salmon and a whole host of vegetables - and it tasted so good - and after the meal I didn't feel bloated or awful. I'm still quietly full now - think I'll just have a cup of tea before bed -- also since I can't order any food now as Grab Food closes at 7 with the lockdown rules).

I will take more advantage of this lockdown than I did of the last one. I shall plan a menu and order some really healthy food for me to put together. I shall read more books. I shall do my daily complement of steps.

(It's 19.24 right now and I've done 7,516 for the day, which is not too bad - three quarters of the day is gone after all, and I've done three quarters of the steps - just one more walk up and down the apartment and I'll be done).

Life is really what you bring to it, isn't it?

Later that day: Almost closed. Kenneth messed with my quote. But have asked for it to be corrected.

Still later: Still not closed yet. (It's 19.51 now)

It's 20.08 and I have discovered that I cannot order groceries online because there are no more spots available. Also, Pathma says her aunt picked up Covid from shopping at Giant and she asked us to be careful when going to the supermarkets. 

Sigh.

Well, OK then.

Still not closed. But nearly. Have looked at all the stories.

Tuesday, 12 January 2021

Benevolent Magic and Living Prayer for Covid-19 specifically

From Robert Shapiro's blog, Benevolent Magic: 

https://benevolentmagic.blogspot.com/2020/06/covid-19-and-magics.html

With regards to Covid-19 specifically:

Benevolent Magic (say out loud)

I request that my immune system be strengthened n a daily basis until I am able to function in my world in a more benevolent way for me now -- resulting in the most benevolent outcome.

Living Prayer (say out loud)

I am asking that all peoples on this planet experience a surge in the effectiveness of their immune systems and that this results in the most benevolent outcome for them all.


Monday, 11 January 2021

Using living prayer to help with the pandemic

I am asking that all those beings in the countries affected by the pandemic who are experiencing the effects of Covid-19  receive all the help they need right now from all those beings who can help them.

Sunday, 10 January 2021

Victory Lap

 I love Anne Lamott,                                                                                                                                   How can anyone have read Bird by Bird and not?

So this year, as I picked up one of her books which had been on my shelves for about a year and started reading, I thought, hey why don't I share it here with you? This excerpt is the prelude to her book, Small Victories:



The worst possible thing you can do when you're down in the dumps, tweaking, vaporous with victimized self-righteousness, or bored, is to take a walk with dying friends. They will ruin everything for you.

First of all, friends like this may not even think of themselves as dying, although they clearly are, according to recent scans and gentle doctors' reports. But no, they see themselves as fully alive. They are living and doing as much as they can, as well as they can, for as long as they can.

They ruin your multitasking high, the bath of agitation, rumination, and judgement you wallow in, without the decency to come out and just say anything. They bust you by being grateful for the day, while you are obsessed with how thin your lashes have become and how wide your bottom.

My friend Barbara had already been living with Lou Gehrig's disease for two years on the spring morning of our Muir Woods hike. She had done and tried everything to stem the tide of deterioration, and you would think, upon seeing her with a fancy four-wheeled walker, needing an iPad-based computer voice named Kate to speak for her, that the disease was having its way. And this would be true, except that besides having ALS, Barbara had her breathtaking mind, a joyously bottomless thirst for nature, and Susie.

Susie, her girlfriend of thirty years, gave her an unfair advantage over the rest of us. We could all be great, if we had Susie. We could be heroes.

Barbara was the executive director of Breast Cancer Action, the bad girls of breast cancer, a grassroots advocacy group with a distinctly bad attitude toward the pink-ribbon approach. Susie was her ballast, and I had spoken to her of their galas and fund-raisers over the years. Barbara and Susie were about the same height, with very short dark hair. They looked like your smartest cousins, with the beauty of friendly, intelligent engagement and good nature.

Barbara's face was set now, almost as a mask, like something the wind is blowing hard against, and she'd lost a lot of weight, so you could see the shape of her animal, and bones and branches and humanity. Yet she still had a smile that got you every time, not a flash of high wattage white teeth, but the beauty of low-watt, the light that comes in through the bottom branches; sweet, peaceful, wry.

We set off. She was our lead duck, our cycling leader -- the only person on wheels sussing up what lay before us at the trailhead, watching the path carefully because her life depended on it. Susie walked ever so slightly behind. I walked behind, in the slipstream.

Even on the path that leads through these woods, you feel the wildness. The trees are so huge that they shut you up. They are like mythical horse flanks and elephant skins -- exuding such life and energy that their stillness makes you suspect they're playing Red Light, Green Light.

The three of us had lunch in town two months earlier, before the feeding tube, before Kate. Barbara used the walker, which looked like a tall, compact shopping cart, but moved at a normal pace. She still ate with a fork, not a feeding tube, and spoke, although so softly that sometimes I had to turn to Susie for translation. Barbara talked about her wellness blog, her need for supplemental nutrition. Breath, nutrition, voice; breath, nutrition, voice. (She posted a list on her blog from time to time, of all the things she could still do, most recently "enjoy the hummingbirds; sleep with my sweetie. Speak out for people with breast cancer.")

Now she is silent. When she wants to talk, she can type words on her iPad that Kate will then speak with efficient warmth. Or she can rest in silence. She knows that even this diminished function and doability will be taken one day at a time. When you are on the knife's edge -- when nobody knows exactly what is going to happen next, only that it will be worse -- you take in today. So here we were, at the trailhead, for a cold day's walk.

I'm a fast walker; because my dad has long legs and I learned to keep up, but today a walk with Barbara was like Mother May I? May I take a thousand baby steps? Barbara seemed by her look of concentration to align herself with all the particles here in the looming woods, so she could be as present and equal as possible. She couldn't bother with saying anything unimportant, because she had to type it first. This relieved all of us from making crazy chatter.

This is a musical grove. The redwoods are like organ pipes, playing silent chords. Susie pointed out birds she knew and moved a few obstacles on our route, as Barbara rolled on, Susie is the ultimate support, a weight-bearing wall. She's not "I am doing wondrous things," but simply helping both herself and Barbara be comfortable in the duo of them. She has lots of sly humour, but no gossipy edge, except in a pinch.

I have been to Muir Woods hundreds of times in my life, from my earliest days. This was where my family brought visitors. I got lost there at four, amid the crowds, but it was different fifty years ago. For the parents, a missing child was scary, yet you did not assume the child was dead. I was always afraid, lost or not. I got lost so often -- once for more than half an hour among sixteen thousand people at the Grand National Rodeo -- that until I was seven, I had notes pinned to my coats, little cards of introduction, with my name and phone numbers: If found, please return, as if I were a briefcase. I have gotten lost all of my life, maybe more than most, and been found every time. Even though I believe that the soul is immortal and grace bats last, I'm afraid because Barbara is going to die, and Susie will be all alone. 

I love Wendell Berry's lines that "it may be that when we no longer know what to do, we have come to our real work, and that when we no longer know which way to go, we have begun our real journey. The mind that is not baffled is not employed. The impeded stream is the one that sings."

The day was so cold that for once Muir Woods did not smell of much; heat brings out stronger smells, but today was crisply delicious. We walked along the path like kids moving as slowly as one humanly can.

We rounded the first curve, vrrroom. Susie and I spoke of nothing in particular. Barbara pointed to her ear, and we stopped to listen. to the tinkle of the creek, and all the voices of the water. There was the interplay of birdsong and people song and the creek's conversation, as if it had a tongue, saying. "Keep going, we'll all just keep on going. You can't stop me or anything else, anyway." Every sound is by definition a stop, which is how we can hear it.

We were walking in the step with Barbara, as she held on to her conveyance, and I felt myself tae on all the qualities that Barbara brought to the day, a fraught joy and awareness. There was a frozen music in the giant redwoods, like a didgeridoo. The trees looked like they were wearing skirts of burl and new growth. I asked Barbara and Susie, "When you flip the skirts up, what do you get?" Barbara pointed to the answer: a tree that had toppled over -- roots covered with moss and what looked like mossy corral., very octopus-like. Some tree trunks had roots wrapped up and around them, muscular in their skirts, with many knees, and some burl seats for anyone who needed to sit.

The trees looked congregational. As we walked beneath the looming green world, pushing out its burls and sprouts, I felt a moment's panic at the thought of Barbara's impending death, and maybe also my own. We are all going to die! That's just so awful. I didn't agree to this. How do we live in the face of this? Left foot, right foot, push the walker forward.

When my son was six or seven, and realised that he and I were not going to die at the exact same moment, he cried for a little while, and then said that if he'd known this, he wouldn't have agreed to be born.

Barbara looked at me gently. We studied each other like trees. Her smile was never used to ingratiate herself. This is so rare.

The ferns looked almost as if they had sprung from an umbrella shaft -- you could click it an cock it, and the spokes would burst forth or could be put away.

We picked up speed and barrelled around the next corner, going one mile an hour; Susie mentioned that they had to get back to San Francisco for a meeting. The city seemed far away, on another planet, but not as far away as a meeting. We passed a great show of burl in a thick lumpy flow; as if  it had been arrested in downward movement, like mud or lava. One burl looked exactly like a bear cub. Ferns and sometimes while redwoods spring from burl. The ferns remind you of pre-history. Dinosaurs hide behind them. They are elegant, tough, and exuberant, like feathers in a woman's hat.

I asked Barbara, "Are you afraid very often?"

She shrugged, smiled, stopped to type on her laptop, and hit Send. Kate spoke: "Not today."

The glossy bay trees are so flexible, unlike some people I could mention (i.e., me) with long horizontal ballet arms. They are light and sun seekers, and when you are in the forest of crazy giants, you might have to do some sudden wild-ass moves, darting through a small slant of space among the giants -- "Oh, wham--sorry--coming through--sorry. Sorry."

We were nearly to the end of the trail. I've always loved to see the foreigners here in their high heels, speaking Russian, Italian, happy as birds. Maybe they have Saint Petersburg and the Sistine Chapel back home, but we have this cathedral. Who knows what tragedies these happy tourists left behind at home? Into every life crap will fall. Most of us do as well as possible, and some of it works okay, and we try to release that which doesn't and which is never going to. On the list of things she could still do, Barbara included: "Clip my nails with a very large nail clipper, hear songs in my head, enjoy a baseball game, if the Giants or Orioles are winning." Making so much of it work is the grace of it: and not being able to make it work is double grace. Grace squared. Their somehow grounded buoyancy is infectious, so much better than detached martyrdom, which is disgusting.

This is not what Barbara and Susie signed up for, not at all. Mistakes were made: Their plan was to spend as much time as they could at Yosemite, the theatre, Mendocino, and helping people with breast cancer. But they are willing to redefine themselves, and life and okayness. Redefinition is a nightmare--we think we've arrived, in our nice Pottery Barn boxes, and that this or that is true. Then something happens that totally sucks, and we are in a new box, and it is like changing into clothes that don't fit, that we hate. Yet the essence remains. Essence is malleable, fluid. Everything we lose is Buddhist truth-- one more thing that you don't have to grab with your death grip, and protect from theft or decay. It's gone. We can mourn it, but we don't have to get down in the grave with it.

Barbara pointed out a bird so tiny that Susie and I didn't see it at first in the fallen branches and duff of the forest floor. It was the only thing moving besides us humans. All of a sudden we saw a tiny jumpy camouflaged creature, heard the teeny tinkly peep. We performed the obeisance of delight. It is so quiet here, as though the trees are sucking up so much sound that anything that can get through them has a crystalline quality.

A great bay arch across the dirt was our last stop on the way. It was in full curvy stretch, arched all the way over our path, reaching for sun and touching the ground on the other side. I wondered if it would snake along on top of the duff, always following the light. It is nobody's fool. Lithe and sinewy, the branch looked Asian: I guess we're all Pacific Rim on this bus. All of its leaves were gone, as if it had spent its time and life force in the arching. Barbara trundled along up to it, smiled, and made the exact arch with her hand--like, Here's the arch and I'm saluting it, standing beneath i, and now walking through.


Friday, 8 January 2021

Books I read in 2020

I missed out a day yesterday. I spent the morning at the hospital trying to get my father's prescription renewed and then collecting his medicine and then registering to have said meds delivered in the future. I spent a lot of time standing around waiting and trying to find the different places I was supposed to go.

Long and short, I was too tired to care about much after. Came home to take a shower and then sleep. 

But every time I fall, I pick myself up and go gamely on. At least I hope I do. 

Anyway, today I thought I would share the list of books I read last year. Why? I dunno. Thought it would be interesting. And I'd like to have a record somewhere.

1. Jonathan Strange and Mr Norrell (Susanna Clarke)

2. Gingerbread (Helen Oyeyemi)

3. Miss Buncle's Book (D. E. Stevenson)

4. On Writers and Writing (Margaret Atwood)

5. Ten Minutes, 38 Seconds in This Strange World (Elif Shafak)

6. The Dead in Their Vaulted Arches (Alan Bradley)

7. Hanging Man (Barnaby Martin)

8. The Dictionary of Mutual Understanding (Jackie Copleton)

9. Icefields (Thomas Wharton)

10. The Bookshop of the Brokenhearted (Robert Hillman)

11. The Awakening of Miss Prim (Natalie Sanmartin Fenollera)

12. A Very Special Year (Thomas Montasser)

13. Seven Letters from Paris (Samantha Verant)

14. Sing, Unburied, Sing (Jesmyn Ward)

15. The Professor (Charlotte Bronte)

16. The Humane Economy (Wayne Pacelle)

17. Many Lives, Many Masters (Brian Weiss)

18. A Tea Reader: Living life one cup at a time (compiled and edited by Katrina Avila Munichiello) 

19. The Trumpet-Major (Thomas Hardy) 

20. Flow (Mihaly Cziksenmihalyi)

21.. The Post Office Girl (Stefan Zweig)

22. Shine (Andy Copes and Gavin Oattes)

23. What Are You Afraid Of? (Dr David Jeremiah)

24. On Writing Well (William Zinsser)

25. Under The Greenwood Tree (Thomas Hardy)

26. Blowing Zen (Ray Brooks)

27. Reading Like A Writer (Francine Prose)

28. The Corpse Walker (Liao Yiwu)

29. The Lotus and the Robot (Arthur Koestler)

30. Flaneuse (Lauren Elkin)

31. Talk like TED (Carmine Gallo)

32. God is Red (Liao Yiwu)

33. Stoicism and the Art of Happiness (Donald Robertson)

34. Where the Crawdads Sing (Delia Owens)

35. Confessions of a Bookseller (Shaun Bythell)

36. Sun-Catcher (Romesh Gunasekara)

37. Miracle at Higher Grounds Cafe (Max Lucado)

38. Philosophy for Life and Other Dangerous Situations (Jules Evans)

39. Henri Cartier Bresson -- A Biography (Pierre Assouline)

40. A River Sutra (Gita Mehta)

41. The Morning They Came For Us (Janine di Giovanni)

42. With the End in Mind (Kathryn Mannix)

43. A Sentimental Education (Gustave Flaubert)

44. The Idiot (Elif Batuman)

45. Honour (Elif Shafak)

46. Must I Go? (Yiyun Li)

47. A Life Discarded (Alexander Masters)

48. Before The Coffee Gets Cold (Toshikazu Kawaguchi)

49. Dr Zhivago (Boris Pasternak)

50. Once Upon A River (Diane Setterfield) 

Wednesday, 6 January 2021

Update

I know it's not quite a week, but it's been a good week so far. I sleep when I need to, eat when I'm hungry and have managed to walk 10,000 steps every day this year so far. 

While I walk, I listen to Mel Robbins' Start Here, 20 talks to improve your life. If you've got a monthly subscription at Audible, you can download this for free, and believe me, it is worth downloading.
I'm now listening to it for the second time around.

I realise that the thing that steals most of my time and turns me into a slug is binging on Netflix. Those Korean dramedies which are super addictive and more than an hour an episode. So I need to come up with a way to manage that. 

Most importantly, I need to find a way to motivate myself and keep keeping on, even when I see no progress. 

Wish me luck! 

Tuesday, 5 January 2021

The River Sutra

 I first read this book in the 1990s and stupidly I lent out my only copy (I don't even remember to whom) and never got it back. After that it seemed to go out of print and I couldn't find it. Last year, I stumbled upon it at BookXcess and I bought a couple of copies and stupidly, gave both out as presents, confident that I could find another copy as this bookshop seemed to have numerous. When I returned, scarcely a month later, I couldn't find any. It had run out. Of course it had. This was such a good book. I ordered a copy at full price on Book Depository only to find the last copy there on my next visit. I bought that too and have it stored away to give as a present, but only to someone who will appreciate it. 

Here, I share my favourite chapter from the book. 

-----------



The Musician's Story

It is hard to be the child of genius.

Even when I was very small, not yet three years old, I was aware that my father dwelt in some other sphere as if he had struck a bargain with God that took him outside human boundaries.

No one stopped me when I lay on the floor outside his music room because I never made a sound as his fingers moved across the frets of his veena forming shapes in the air, a whole architecture of sound that I could walk through and around, so substantial when I listened that I believed it would last for a thousand years.

I always wondered as a child, where did such beauty go? Which audience of spirits sat waiting for the sounds to rearrange themselves into arches, vaults, balconies, spires, domes that they could inhabit? But I could not ask my father. He was surrounded by musicians, their silent applause flowing around him as impassable as deep water as they listened to his genius taking him toward some unknown dimension on the ladder of music that he was constructing so painstakingly with his veena.

Whenever I tried to approach my father, that sea of adulation closed like water over my head before I was able to reach the smiling figure glancing at me with indifferent interest as if I were a pi-dog puppy who had wandered into his music room. I don't think it could be said of my father that he was sensitive to the presence of other human beings unless they intruded on his music, so he never noticed me. But he noticed my despair.

You see, despair is an emotion, and the emotions were like shoals of brilliant fish swimming  through his melodies. Or coloured gases floating through the ether in which his music dwelt.

To the entire household's astonishment, when I was six years old my father, who had never accepted a student from all the great musicians who had begged to sit at his feet, stretched out his hand, making a bridge for me to cross the gulf of praise that separated us, and offered to teach me music.

My first music lesson extended for several months. In all that time I was not permitted to touch an instrument. I was not even permitted to sing the seven notes of the scale: the sa, re, ga, ma, pa, dha, ni that are the do, re, mi, fa, so, la, ti of western music.

Instead my father made me sit next to him in the evenings as the birds were alighting on the trees.

"Listen," he said in a voice so hushed it was as if he was praying. "Listen to the birds singing. Do you hear the half notes and microtones pouring from their throats? If I practiced for ten lifetimes I could not reproduce that careless waterfall of sound and sshh...listen closely."

I tried to imitate him, bending forward in my chair. "Hear? How that song ended on a single note when the bird settled into the tree? The greatest ragas must end like that, leaving just one note's vibration on the air."

I nodded in enthusiasm, hoping to please him, but he did not see me. "Do you know why birds sing at dawn and at sunset? Because of the changing light. Their songs are a spontaneous response to the beauty of the world. That is truly music."

Then he told me that he would die happy if he were able to create such music five or ten times in a whole lifetime.

"Men are fools," my father said as we walked in the jungles behind our house. "They think only humans respond to beauty. But a feeding deer will drop its food to listen to music, and a king cobra sway its hood in pleasure. Listen. Do you hear that peacock's cry? It is the first note of the scale. Sa."

Standing under the trees we waited to hear the peacocks cry again, and when they did my father's voice echoed them and the peacocks fell silent, listening.

It seemed to me that we were wandering only for pleasure in the fields around our house or in the jungles. I did not realise my father was teaching me the seven notes of the scale as described in the classic texts.

But at sunset we waited until the cowherds were driving their cattle back to their villages and my father said, "Can you hear that calf calling its mother? It is the note -- re."

We watched my mother throwing vegetable peelings to the goats in our back field. "Hear the goats? If you sing ga three times, very quickly, it is the bleating of a goat."

We waded into the paddy fields behind the herons. "Ma, the cry of the heron."

At night, "Pa, the song of the nightingale."

In the bazaar streets as we followed the horse carriages, "Dha -- the neighing of a horse."

And when the circus came to town, my father was excited at the opportunity of teaching me the last note of the scale. "Can you hear the ni -- when the elephant trumpets?"

Then my father sang the notes of the scale so I could hear him imitating the animals we had seen -- the strutting of the peacock, the panic of a lost calf, the destructive antics of a goat, the sweeping flight of the heron, the nightingale nesting in a tree, the rearing of a horse, the power of an angry elephant -- until the nature of the notes became second nature to me. He also sang the ragas in which each note predominated so that my uneducated ear became familiar with all the major ragas before I ever held an instrument in my hands.

"There was no art until Shiva danced the Creation," he said, explaining how melody was born. "Music lay asleep inside a motionless rhythm -- deep as water, black as darkness, weightless as air. Then Shiva shook his drum. Everything started to tremble with the longing to exist. The universe erupted into being as Shiva danced. The six mighty ragas, the pillars of all music, were born from the expressions on Shiva's face, and through their vibrations the universe was brought into existence.

"The melodies of these six ragas sustain the harmonies of living things. When they fuse together they become the beat of Shiva's drum that brings the universe to destruction. But they are all male. And music can never be still, it can never be without desire. Life must create more life or become death. So each of the six ragas were given six wives, six raginis to teach them love. Their children are the putras, and in this way music lives and multiplies.

Then my father said I must see the emotions through which ragas and raginis communicated with each other. "Each raga is related to a particular season, a time of day, an emotion. But emotion is the key that unlocks a raga's soul."

So, every day for a month, we went together to the dance academy to study Shiva's dance of Creation. I watched girls my age struggle to convey emotions that they had never known but that were the basic moods of dance: Laughter, Wonder, Heroism, Anger, Grief, Pity, Love, Fear, Tranquility.

Sometimes I laughed at their inability to put sufficient gravity into their moods, and my father was displeased.

"Don't treat the arts so lightly. They are Shiva's gifts to mankind. If you choose to be a musician, you enter into a pact with Shiva himself. Remember, every note you play sends new music into the universe. You can never reclaim it."

I thought my father was speaking to himself because I did not understand his meaning. But at last I was able to ask the questions that had always been in my mind. "And where does all that music go?"

"It returns to the sound that is all so all-encompassing it is silent, the sound we call the secret of the Gandharva Veda."

"Have you ever heard it?"

"No, but every day I listen for it when I play. You must listen for it too. The Vedas say that by playing the veena with the correct rhythm, keeping its notes and its character intact, a man can hear that sound and attain salvation."

Then my father took me to the small street of painters that stretched at one side of the town temple to watch the artists grinding their colours with stones. He was always searching for ways to make me understand the link between my music and the world, and while I peered over the artists' shoulders, he taught me which ragas they would be painting from the small pots of colours they were placing before their paper -- sa was black, re was tawny, ga was gold, ma white, pa yellow, dha indigo, ni green.

That portrait of a man with black skin carrying in his hand a sharp-edged sword to slash through the clouds like lightning was Megh, the raga of rain. That man with flames around his head, riding a savage elephant to show fire's power, was Deepak, the raga of heat. That girl fanning herself with a peacock's feather as she drank from a goblet was Vaulika; that maiden lying in front of a hut on the grass with a garland in her hands was Desi; that girl talking to her deer as she took them home at evening was Todi.

By the time six months were over I could recite the moods that each raga created and its seasons, and identify them in the pictures I saw being painted in the street. 

Still, an entire year passed before my father finally allowed me to take the veena across my knees.

I was so small the instrument stretched beyond both sides of my body and my crossed legs didn't even touch the arm. My father instructed me to place both hands on the strings without making a sound.

"Always treat your instrument with humility. After all, what is a raga? Five notes, seven. If you add some halftones, maybe twelve. It is only a skeleton of melody. And the veena is only two gourds attached by a piece of wood and a handful of wires. But when they are united, and you create a composition from their union, it must speak the language of the soul. You see, a raga has its own soul. Without its soul, its rasa, a raga is only a dead thing."

He warned me I must respect each note of music so that I could give it life. "Once there was a great musician who boasted all the time that he could play better than anyone else. One day the notes of the scale turned into seven nymphs and walked past as he was playing. Suddenly one nymph fell to the ground dead. The musician was playing his instrument so violently that he strangled the note in his strings. He murdered the nymph with his pride."

I started crying, fearing my father would somehow blame me for the nymph's death. He only smiled at my distress and continued his story. "As the musician was staring in horror at the dead woman in front of him, a holy man passed by and asked if he could borrow the instrument. He played on it so sweetly he brought the note nymph back to life. That is how you must try to play."

And then at last my father allowed me to pluck the primary scale from the strings of my veena. For half an hour he listened to me play as closely as if he were listening to a great musician before stopping me. "The first sound of creation was Om. Each vibration of Om created new sounds that led to the primary scale. Think of these seven notes as the Om of music. If you cannot lay them correctly you will never be able to master a raga."

I was only a child but my father wanted me to understand that music was the mathematics by which the universe could be comprehended. Morning after morning, month after month, he made me play the sa, re, ga, ma, pa, dha, ni over and over again, one hand moving up and down the frets, the other plucking at the veena's strings, until my fingers bled. He ignored my tears and forced me to continue practicing until the cushions of my fingertips developed calluses. But still he was not satisfied with the clarity of my notes.

If my mother had been more sympathetic I would have asked her then to end my music lessons. Unfortunately, my mother seldom spoke to me. My ugliness upset her. When other children stared at me, sniggering at my ugliness, my mother's eyes filled with tears but she never comforted me or told me they were wrong.

Shamed by my mother's tears, I hid in the bathroom, examining myself in the mirror to see if my face was losing any of its coarseness. Each time I looked I saw only two features in the mushy flesh, this nose growing bigger as if trying to join this chin that drives forward like a fighter's, tempting an opponent's attack.

My father was oblivious to my ugliness. After listening to me practice on my veena he would play himself, making me learn the scales that formed the ragas. For two years these skeletons of melody were all I learned. My father would play some notes and ask me what he was playing. When I identified the raga he would recite a sacred saying peculiar to it.

"A goddess presides over each of the ragas. If you truly meditate on the raga's sacred teaching, its goddess will give you mastery over its melodies."

I stared at him resentfully as he spoke, hating his nose and chin because they were exaggerated so cruelly on my own face. He was not a handsome man, but at least his features were in proportion to his face, and his naturally austere expression lent them distinction. I wanted him to give me a sacred saying, a goddess who would grant me beauty.

Perhaps I did my father an injustice. Through music he tried to free me of my own image so I could love beauty wherever it was to be found, even if it was mot present in my mirror.

Then one day when I was eleven years old, my father gave me a picture of a man with matted hair and snakes clasping his forehead above his three eyes.

"This is the raga you will learn. The Bhairav. Bhairav is another name for Shiva, meaning the Fire of Time."

My hands trembled as I held the picture of the god, his body smeared with ashes, a drum and a trident in his hands. I had been under my father's instruction for five years by now. At last my father felt I was capable of commencing the performance of a raga.

At that very moment my mother began to sit outside the music room as a jailer waits for a prisoner. I was not gifted enough for my mother to feel secure about my future. She had lived so long with genius that she could recognise it like a bazaar fruit seller recognises a fine mango from a merely good one even though he has not grown it, and she believed that a woman without genius could be protected only by a husband in a harsh world designed for men.

When I finished my music lesson, she forced me to endure teas with her friends and their sons. I could see the boys recoiling from my ugliness but my mother's resolve to see me safely married only hardened as, week after week, the teas progressed and no offers were made for my hand.

How can I describe my anguish in the years that followed, as I struggled to please my father inside the music room, and then outside the music room consoled my mother for my ugliness?

One one side was my father's invitation to wander freely in the fields of music, where even a child like myself could fall on cushions of melody, run across bridges of notes, swing on the stretch of the veena's strings, make garlands of different-coloured notes to place before the goddesses of the ragas. But outside the room I saw my mother's face creased with worry, my ugliness reflected in her eyes.

By now my body was beginning to show its maturity, changes that I could not overlook if only because the weight of the veena was too much against my budding breasts. With these changes in my physique had come a change in my emotional state. My senses felt everything too strongly. I no longer swam with the freedom of a dolphin through the caverns of my father's music. I was too preoccupied with my own ugliness and my mother's despair, my uncertain future looming before me as mysterious as the changes of my body.

Suddenly my father decided he no longer wanted to teach me. "You make too much music. A raga is not composed of notes. It is composed of the silence between the notes."

Once I would have wept openly at my father's words. Now I lowered my eyes that he would not see my great shame. My pain attracted my father's attention. Or perhaps it was my silence that made him relent.

"I will continue to teach you. But on one condition. They say the greatest gift a man can give is the gift of a daughter in marriage. If you insist on studying under me, you must be prepared to be a bride."

It seemed to me that I could not escape the spectre of marriage. Knowing no man would me as a wife, I begged him to continue my musical education.

"Think carefully before you say yes," my father warned. "Remember, if I teach you the raginis I will be giving you as a wife to my gods of music. Such a contract cannot be broken. It will be a marriage sealed by Shiva himself."

I humbly assured him I understood, and my father continued my education.

Now my father's lessons lifted me into another universe.

He changed my instrument from the veena to the more pliant sitar, hearing in that softer instrument my yearning for beauty as he taught me the grace notes that distinguish the great musician from a student.

"Imagine a raga as a riverbed. The grace notes are the water of the river. It is written in the Ragavivodha that a raga without grace notes is like a night without moonlight, a river without water, a creeper without flowers, a woman without a garment."

He taught me the subtleties of tenderness, how to be supple before gravity, how to gentle anger, how to seduce and sigh and caress through my music.

"You must think of yourself as water washing over stone, shaping it with the relentless touch of your love. Think of yourself as silk that disguises its strength in softness. The force of your desire, the heat of your longing must melt the rigidity of the raga."

My sensibilities became so refined under my father's tutelage that when he recited to me the contemplations of differeing raginis, I could immediately visualise them.

"Here is the contemplation for Lilvati. She is of sixteen summers, she wears ropes of pearls, she carries a lotus, and she speaks of love to her confidantes while she waits for her beloved.

"The lilting Madhu-madhavi has a golden complexion and is of incomparable beauty. She is seated laughing with her lover on a swing at springtime.

"The yearning Shyam-Gujari stands in a moonlit garden telling a peacock of her longing for her lover.

"Here is the contemplation of Bhairavi. The appointed hour of her tryst has passed and her lover has not appeared. She tears off her jewels and the flowers in her hair. She smears her body with ashes, grieving for the loss of her beloved."

Just think what my study did to me, an adolescent girl who knew the stain of her ugliness would prevent any man from desiring her, and yet learning only how to express longing.

But I cannot say that mine was an unhappy life. I had already experienced one miracle when my father undertook my musical education. Now the second miracle happened.

It was evening, the time when my father played to the gods. None of us could disturb him but sometimes I passed near the room to listen.

This evening I stopped to look through the doorway of his music room, never having heard my father play this way before. To my surprise I saw a young man sitting below my father's platform playing the veena. He was dressed as a supplicant, bare-footed, his torso naked except for the instrument resting against his bare shoulder. I stared in wonder at his slanting eyes, at his black hair falling softly to the strong line of his neck, at the muscled arm as his fingers moved across the frets of his instrument. He was so beautiful I shut my eyes against his power, thinking I had imagined him in my long training in desire. When I opened my eyes I still saw him, and it was as if ten thousand honeybees had stung my heart at once. 

I don't know how long I stood there, but finally the young man laid his instrument at my father's feet.

"Will you accept me as your student?" he asked humbly.

My father did not bother to disguise his impatience. "Everyone knows I have never taken a pupil, except for my daughter."

"Then let me live here, so I can listen to you play. I will serve your food or heat the water for your bath. I will perform the most menial tasks if only you permit me to be near you."

"Are you so willing to do anything to be taught by me?"

"The more rigorous your terms, the happier I will be to accept them."

"Music is not allied to pain. You will not be a better musician if you suffer more than other men."

"Just tell me what you require of me and I will do it."

"If I teach you, will you take my daughter as your wife?"

"Is that all? Willingly."

My father lifted his hand to beckon me into the room, and the stranger turned. I saw the shock on the stranger's face, as if he could not believe my father could sire such ugliness.

At that moment I wished my father dead. He did not see the stranger's disbelief, and if he had my father would not have cared. Genius stands at a strange angle to the world of humans, careless of its own cruelty.

And what refinement of cruelty it was. Day after day my ugliness faced the stranger's beauty as my father taught us.

Locked in my hatred of my father, I could not bring to my instrument that longing which I had perfected when there was no one there.

My awkward playing made the stranger's music more unforgiving, so that the notes of his raga had an iron hardness that forbid approach.

My father was enraged at his insensitivity. "The ragas are the architecture of emotion. Have you never known weakness or fear? Are you so stupid?"

I wept within myself for the stranger's pain at my father's harsh criticisms. But my father was relentless. "Any pedant can learn a raga's melody. It is only a matter of practice. Music goes beyond technique. The Boddhisatva broke every string of the veena, one by one, and still the raga continued, vibrating in the waters of human emotion."

The stranger did not yet know his own genius, only his talent and his ambition, and my father eroded that ambition with ruthless skill.

"Your tastes are too cheap to play the great ragas. You are content  to create mere pleasure. Didn't your last teacher teach you the Upanishads:

"The better is one thing, the pleasant another,

 Both aims may bind a man,

 But the wise man chooses the better over the pleasant?"

Then my father turned to me, his fury at my incompetence as great as his anger at the stranger's lack of imagination.

"What are the two emotions that govern the two sexes in all music?"

"The heroic for the man. The erotic for the woman," I whispered, fearful of drawing the stranger's eyes to my face.

My father raised his hands in the air in front of him as if beseeching the gods. "What am I to do with these lumps of clay? From the outside they look like a man and a woman. Why are they not alive?"

We were betrothed, my father's two students. And yet we never spoke to each other except in stilted greetings and farewells.

My father spoke for both of us, haranguing us to become more than we were, not allowing us to hide our shame from him and from each other.

Once he took the veena from the stranger's shoulder when he was again displeased by the boy's playing. "Do you know what this instrument is? Look at the curve of its neck. Its breasts, its slender arm. This is the expression of Shiva's love. Can't you imagine a woman? Or love?"

Day after day, lesson after lesson, he shamed us, forcing us to understand the meaning of being a man and a woman.

But what we learned most from him in those years was the blessedness of silence, when we were neither struggling to please him with our instruments nor listening to his voice harshly reminding us of our errors.

Over the months my father's fury made us conspirators. Fearing his anger at one student would be deflected on the other, we began helping each other, trying to read the other's mistake before it was made, increasingly conscious of each other's moods.

Now I remembered my father's teachings as I tried to be the water to the river of the stranger's raga, the moonlight to his night. And when I thought how my father had said that a raga without the waterfall of grace notes was like a woman without a garment, I tried to teach the stranger what a woman felt, pleading for his attention by extending the notes pulled from the strings of my sitar so he could hear the ache in me.

Suddenly it was as if I had gained a voice to tell the stranger of my pain at my own ugliness, of my remorse that he should have been locked into this unjust bargain of marriage by my father.

I do not know where I learned such duplicity or if I always harboured it in my soul, but I began seducing the stranger with my weakness and he grew heroic in his music to defend me from my father's contempt.

As silk disguises its strength in softness, as water erodes the unforgiving nature of stone, as flesh embraces steel, I embraced the music of the stranger's veena and through the strings of my sitar, I told him that I dared to love his beauty. Slowly, oh how slowly, the stranger's music began responding to the request in mine until we were no longer conscious of my father's presence in the room, only hearing the pleading of my ragini to be the wife of his lordly raga, the silences in between our notes growing electric with desire.

Sometimes I saw the stranger's eyes linger on some part of my body left exposed by my garment and I did not hasten to cover myself, pretending I had not noticed his attention wandering from my music. I even began to hope I was not as offensive as I had always believed myself to be. We were young, you see, we were a man and a woman, and we could not pass our days in the constant dialogue of desire without being overwhelmed by it.

But my mother was growing impatient for our marriage to be performed. The stranger was by now twenty-one years old, I was eighteen. Every day she demanded that my father set a date for the wedding, yet my father hesitated. I had never seem him indecisive in his life. I could not understand why he bargained each day with my mother to delay the marriage he had himself demanded from his student.

Finally he told my mother, "Let them play together on the night of Shiva. Then we will choose a date."

That year, as always happened on the night of Shiva, our house was filled with musicians. All night, the musicians played, one after another or sometimes together, waiting for the moment when my father would lift his veena and praise his gods with his genius.

But this year my father told the assembled musicians that tonight his students would play for them. Then he invited us to join him on the platform.

It was the hour to play the Bhairav, the raga of Shiva, when darkness turns into dawn. The stranger played the opening movement of the raga. My father nodded in approval listening to the stranger slowly unfold the raga's divinity, carving a great stone temple of music in the air. I understood that my father's harangues against what is only pleasant in music as the magnificence of the raga was displayed to us, becoming ever more grave, more monumental, more relentless, as if embodying its name, the Fire of Time.

And now I disturbed its mighty solitude with the sacrifice of Parvati wooing Shiva from his asceticism, pleading that he love her. And so we played together, as the darkness turned into filigreed shadow, and still we played until there was light in the room, and still we played as the sun showed its power, until exhausted by the consummation of our music we ended together  on a single note, as if consigning our music to the silence that followed it.

When even my father could no longer hear that last note vibrating in the air, he rose to his feet. "Tonight I gave my daughter in marriage to music. I have fulfilled my duties as a father. Now I free this young man from our bargain. But if he still wishes to marry my child, the wedding can take place whenever my wife wishes."

The stranger smiled at me as my mother placed a garland of flowers around his neck. I dared not look at him in case my joy overflowed, flooding my eyes.

And so the stranger left our house to return to his family while my mother made preparations for our marriage.

For the first time I preferred my mother's company to my father's. We collected my trousseau and decorated the rooms in which my bridegroom and I would live as man and wife. 

The priest was organised, an auspicious night was chosen for our nuptials. We sent shawls and saris for my bridegroom's parents.

Every day my mother speculated on the progress of events. The bridegroom's family should be arriving soon, the red invitations with the gold lettering must have reached their destinations.

Then at last a messenger arrived from my bridegroom's family. 

My mother and myself hid outside my father's music room, whispering excitedly to each other as the messenger unwrapped gifts below my father's platform.

I looked at the shawls piling up at my father's feet and recognised them as the gifts we had sent to my bridegroom's family, but I still did not understand what was happening until I heard the messenger say, "Your student thanks you for granting his freedom. He is betrothed in marriage to my daughter."

From that moment I have not touched my instrument nor entered my father's music room. The very sound of music is hateful to my ears.

So my father has brought me here.

He says that I must meditate on the waters of the Narmada, the symbol of Shiva's penance, until I have cured myself of my attachment to what has passed and can become again the ragini to every raga.

He says I must understand that I am the bride of music and not of a musician. But it is an impossible penance that he demands of me, to express desire in my music when I am dead inside.

Do you think it can be done?

Do you think this river has such power?




Monday, 4 January 2021

Materialising tendencies

 I ended last year and started this one, reading The Selected Letters of Henry James, edited by Leon Edel.

I decided to share one of his letters here. Initially I thought I would share another one, but then, I stumbled (well came across it in its place in the chronology of letters) on this one and thought it would be better. I will write my impressions of the book, the letters and Henry James elsewhere (Jennifer, Reading). Here, I just want to share his letter, which was to the Deerfield Summer School. 

Some background: During the summer of 1889, James was invited to attend the Summer School at Deerfield, Massachusetts for a discussion of the art of the novel. He sent, instead, the following letter, which was read during the proceedings and later published in the New York Tribune (4 August 1889)

*******

To THE DEERFIELD SUMMER SCHOOL 

                                                                                                                                          [Summer 1889]

I am afraid I can do little more than thank you for your courteous invitation to be present at the sittings of your delightfully sounding school of romance, which ought to inherit happiness and honour from such a name. I am so very far away from you that I am afraid I can't participate very intelligently in your discussions, but I can only give them the furtherance of a dimly discriminating sympathy. I am not sure that I apprehend very well your apparent premise, 'the materialism of our present tendencies,' and I suspect that this would require some clearing up before I should be able (if even then) to contribute any suggestive or helpful word. To tell the truth, I can't help thinking that we already talk too much about  the novel, about and around it, in proportion to the quantity of it having any importance that we produce. What I should say to the nymphs and swains who propose to converse about it under the great trees at Deerfield is: "Oh, do something from your point of view; an ounce of example is worth a ton of form; do something with life. Any point of view is interesting that is a direct impression of life. You each have an impression coloured by your individual conditions; make that into a picture, a picture framed by your own personal wisdom, your glimpse of the American world. The field is vast, for study, for observation, for satire, for truth." I don't think I really do know what you mean by 'materializing tendencies' any more than I should do by 'spiritualizing' or 'etherealizing' or the imaginative, which is just as visible, and to paint it. I have only two little words for the matter remotely approaching to rule or doctrine; one is life and the other freedom. Tell the ladies and gentlemen, the ingenious inquirers, to consider life directly and closely, and not be put off with mean and puerile falsities, and be conscientious about it. It is infinitely large, various and comprehensive. Every sort of mind will find what it looks for in it, whereby the novel becomes truly multifarious and illustrative. That is what I mean by liberty; give it its head and let it range. If it is in a bad way, and the English novel is, I think, nothing but absolute freedom can refresh it and restore its self-respect. Excuse these raw brevities and please convey to your companions, my dear sir, the cordial good wishes of yours and theirs,

                                                                                                                                          Henry James


Sunday, 3 January 2021

Other people

Day 3 of the Dan Joseph newsletter. Does it seem like I'm cheating, breaking up one newsletter into three? But there were three questions. And three answers. And I believe that each of them should be taken and considered separately. 

Don't skim. Absorb.

Q. Everyone talks about how meditation and "finding your light" practices are so helpful. But I don't find that they help me much at all. I try these practices, and can't get out of my head. I don't get a sense of peace or anything. Is there something extra I can try?

A: To begin, I want to acknowledge that meditation-style practices are challenging and often require a great deal of persistence. At the outset, the mind is much like an excited puppy bouncing off everything in sight. It can take many repeated practices before the puppy begins to calm down.

Along those lines, there are two main "skills" involved in the practices I describe:

1. The ability to focus the mind
2. The willingness to open to a new experience

If one of these practices seems more challenging, you may want to spend some time developing your comfort with it.

Virtually every meditation-style practice involves focusing the mind. Without the capacity to hold focus, you will likely find your awareness of peace coming and going, rising and falling, shifting in and out of awareness.

I find that almost any type of focusing practice can help with this dynamic. Some people focus on their breaths in meditation, pulling their attention back to the breath whenever it wanders. Other people gaze at a candle or other stimulus, bringing the mind back to the object whenever extraneous thoughts or feelings pull you away.

A word or phrase can also be used as a focal point. The workbook of A Course in Miracles offers a short spiritual statement each day to focus on. Books of "affirmations" also contain these statements. You are free to come up with your own word or phrase as well. The word, phrase, or statement becomes the focal point: you repeat it calmly and slowly, over and over, pulling your attention to it and away from other distractions.

Speaking personally, it took me a great number of practice sessions before I felt my mind becoming comfortable with focus in meditation. And of course, I still encounter a good deal of distraction and resistance at times! Each step along the way is helpful. With practice, the mind becomes more able to hold focus.

In addition to focus, almost all of the practices I describe also involve opening to a new experience – the experience of inner peace, or the wise mind, or our inner light.

The key in this skill is willingness. We develop, through practice, a willingness to release our current swirl of thoughts and feelings, and open our hearts and minds to a new experience.

Imagery can be helpful with this phase. You may want to imagine your thoughts like leaves floating by on a stream, or clouds floating by in the sky. You note each one, and express your willingness to let it pass by. Then you express your willingness to open – even for just a moment – to a deeper sense of peace.

Developing this willingness comes easier with practice. It is not an ability that some people just "have" and others "don't have." It is a skill that the mind will become more comfortable with through practice.

If you find it helpful, you may want to stop periodically through the day – perhaps every hour, on the hour – to practice these skills. Even a minute, or less, can be helpful. As my friends can attest, I spent years setting an hourly chime on my phone in order to remind me to stop and practice.

2021 can be a year devoted to steps toward the experience of peace. Even if you encounter resistance along the way, each bit of practice will help.

As the year turns, you are in the company of millions of others around the world who practice with you. We walk together toward the light, and I am deeply grateful for all of our efforts.




Saturday, 2 January 2021

Getting into meditation

Day 2 of the Q&A from Dan Joseph's newsletter, a great way to start the year!

Q. Everyone talks about how meditation and "finding your light" practices are so helpful. But I don't find that they help me much at all. I try these practices, and can't get out of my head. I don't get a sense of peace or anything. Is there something extra I can try?

A: To begin, I want to acknowledge that meditation-style practices are challenging and often require a great deal of persistence. At the outset, the mind is much like an excited puppy bouncing off everything in sight. It can take many repeated practices before the puppy begins to calm down.

Along those lines, there are two main "skills" involved in the practices I describe:

1. The ability to focus the mind
2. The willingness to open to a new experience

If one of these practices seems more challenging, you may want to spend some time developing your comfort with it.

Virtually every meditation-style practice involves focusing the mind. Without the capacity to hold focus, you will likely find your awareness of peace coming and going, rising and falling, shifting in and out of awareness.

I find that almost any type of focusing practice can help with this dynamic. Some people focus on their breaths in meditation, pulling their attention back to the breath whenever it wanders. Other people gaze at a candle or other stimulus, bringing the mind back to the object whenever extraneous thoughts or feelings pull you away.

A word or phrase can also be used as a focal point. The workbook of A Course in Miracles offers a short spiritual statement each day to focus on. Books of "affirmations" also contain these statements. You are free to come up with your own word or phrase as well. The word, phrase, or statement becomes the focal point: you repeat it calmly and slowly, over and over, pulling your attention to it and away from other distractions.

Speaking personally, it took me a great number of practice sessions before I felt my mind becoming comfortable with focus in meditation. And of course, I still encounter a good deal of distraction and resistance at times! Each step along the way is helpful. With practice, the mind becomes more able to hold focus.

In addition to focus, almost all of the practices I describe also involve opening to a new experience – the experience of inner peace, or the wise mind, or our inner light.

The key in this skill is willingness. We develop, through practice, a willingness to release our current swirl of thoughts and feelings, and open our hearts and minds to a new experience.

Imagery can be helpful with this phase. You may want to imagine your thoughts like leaves floating by on a stream, or clouds floating by in the sky. You note each one, and express your willingness to let it pass by. Then you express your willingness to open – even for just a moment – to a deeper sense of peace.

Developing this willingness comes easier with practice. It is not an ability that some people just "have" and others "don't have." It is a skill that the mind will become more comfortable with through practice.

If you find it helpful, you may want to stop periodically through the day – perhaps every hour, on the hour – to practice these skills. Even a minute, or less, can be helpful. As my friends can attest, I spent years setting an hourly chime on my phone in order to remind me to stop and practice.

2021 can be a year devoted to steps toward the experience of peace. Even if you encounter resistance along the way, each bit of practice will help.

As the year turns, you are in the company of millions of others around the world who practice with you. We walk together toward the light, and I am deeply grateful for all of our efforts.

Friday, 1 January 2021

Happy New Year

 I had intended to restart this blog and post every day last year...haha, didn't do too good a job of that.

But I found something I would like to share with you to kick off your year. It's from my favourite newsletter, Quiet Mind, by Dan Joseph. I've read his newsletter for so many years, from 2005, I think. And in none, not one, has there ever been a false note. True wisdom is rare. Which is why I will share something from his latest newsletter over the next three days.

If you found your way to my blog unexpectedly, enjoy. Then go check out his site: www.SpiritSite.com

Q: You write about accessing the "spiritual self." However, my "worldly self" seems to matter a great deal when it comes to practical things like getting a job, finding someone to date, and so forth. How do you reconcile these?

A: Imagine a temple made entirely of stained glass windows. Within the center of this temple is a light that illuminates the glass. When the light is dim, the glass is rather colorless. But as the light increases in strength, the colors of the windows come alive.

In much the same way, our spiritual light illuminates the actions we take in the world. You might say that the activities of our "worldly selves" simply reflect our inner light as we allow them to.

As we create room for our inner light to expand, the stained glass begins to glow with great clarity and beauty. The glass isn't the important thing; the light that illuminates the glass is what's important. In fact, the light can become so beautifully luminous at times that the glass becomes nearly transparent.

Even in the most practical forms, we can allow our spiritual light to guide our steps. If you are seeking employment, your light can give you wisdom and clarity about what actions to take. It can inspire a sense of enthusiasm to help whatever organization, customer, or client you are interacting with. It can bring harmony to your interactions with your coworkers. It can fill you with creative solutions to problems.

If you are seeking positive relationships, the light can shine forth as appreciation toward those around you. It can highlight their beauty and gifts – as well as your own. It can ease a sense of vulnerability. It can highlight paths out of conflict. It can reveal the spiritual connections that are already present between you and other people, even those who seem to be "strangers."

Our selves in the world are simply a framework through which the light of the spirit is expressed. People may think that they are interested in the intricacies of the stained glass, but in truth they are inspired by the light that illuminates it.

There is no conflict between our worldly lives and the spiritual self; one is the glass, and the other is the light that brightens the glass as it shines through.

Friday, 13 November 2020

An interview with Jim Daly

In the year 2000, I suddenly had to fill a page every day on the new economy in my local newspaper. I didn't know anything about them, so I talked to people, read books and magazines. During this time, someone gave me a list of magazines to read, including Business 2.0 which very quickly became my favourite because of the quirky editor, Jim Daly. Then just as I got to know and love the magazine, Business 2.0 changed hands and lost its magic.

I was googling Jim Daly and came across this interview in 2001, which I thought I'd put here, my happy blog, because that's what it's for.



Exclusive Interview with Jim Daly, founding editor of Business 2.0 (From BizReport.com)

Many of us rode the wave of Internet mania up -- and then right back down. But few have occupied the enviable catbird seat of Jim Daly, the founding editor of Business 2.0, which is credited with fundamentally changing the way the media covers businesses as they were thrust (some unwillingly) into the uncertain abyss of cyberspace. Earlier this year, mass media goliath AOL Time Warner purchased Business 2.0 and kept only three Business 2.0 staffers, choosing instead to fold the staff into its eCompany Now magazine to the new Business 2.0.

by Michael Grebb, Special Correspondent

Daly spent his newfound free time with his family on an extended vacation in the Wyoming wilderness. He's back now -- re-energised and actively weighing options that include book offers and overtures from new "startups". Daly took a few minutes out of his admittedly less hectic schedule to give BizReport his take on the magazine business, the Internet economy, and why the Internet still changes everything.

MG: You've just gotten back from your first real vacation in a while. How did it feel?

JD: It was a little strange, actually. After the sale went down, I had a lot of extra energy built up inside me.

MG: I imagine you haven't taken any time off since becoming founding editor of Business 2.0.

JD: A few days here and there, but when you have a startup, it's kind of like a restaurant in a way. You have to be there to check on the service, the sauce, everything...You have to be there to make sure that all the parts of the magazine are working, especially with one that was growing as fast as we were.

MG: Did the stunning growth of the magazine -- especially around late 1998 and into 1999 -- surprise you at all? The issues were starting to look like Sears catalogues for a while. 

JD: Well, it did surprise us. But we knew the story was a good story, and we knew the magazine was good. I don't think we expected the growth to be as rapid as that. It's a bit unusual for any magazine to grow that quickly -- to go from a startup to a magazine with the eighth highest revenue of any magazine in the United States within two years. That was certainly surprising, but we caught the story just as it was starting to develop and people were starting to get excited about it. The one thing that really worked for us was that the story really generated both a lot of excitement and a lot of confusion. When you have a lot of excitement and a lot of confusion, people look for information. That put Business 2.0 right at that nexus. We knew we didn't have all the answers, but we wanted to ask all of the questions and get down to the business models -- the ones that were working and the ones that weren't working. I think we did a really good job doing that. I think a lot of people realised it. Certainly, AOL Time Warner did. You have the largest magazine publisher in the world buying a magazine that hadn't hit its third birthday. So that was pretty flattering. 

MG: During the boom of the late nineties, how challenging was it to just keep up with so much growth so fast, considering it was probably the toughest labour market in decades?

JD: It was very difficult. You have to remember that when we started out -- the first two years or so -- we only had about a dozen people in editorial, and that included the art staff and the production staff. And that is not a lot of people. It's an adequate number of people to put out a 112- or 128-page issue, but when the issues start to get up to 300 and in our most extreme cases 480 pages...

MG: Well, you used a lot of freelancers.

JD: But you know, everyone was growing, and it was difficult to get good freelancers. In many ways, you had what I call a "citizen army" developing.  Everyone who could write and knew a little bit about business began to write for all these different publications. It was just difficult to get good people. It was even more difficult to get excellent people. You needed to hire 30 people right away, but you couldn't do that because maybe there weren't 30 great people out there that you wanted to contribute to the magazine.

MG: But then everything changed. In the Spring of 2000, the bottom started to drop out for technology business magazines across the board. Considering that you had beefed up the staff in 1999, how did you deal with the new reality?

JD: Well, we had beefed up the staff, but we never beefed it up as much as other people had. Even at the highest level, we only had about 45 people in editorial. Some of those magazines had over 100 or 200 people.

MG: That sounds like The Industry Standard, which just went out of business. As the former editor of a rival publication, what do you think happened there? Did they just get ahead of themselves?

JD: That was one reason. I mean, they had a tremendous burn rate. They were going through a lot of money very, very quickly. They were very ambitious, and you can't fault people for being ambitious. But when the softening began in the spring of last year and the whole market fell off a cliff in November, I don't think anyone expected it to crater as quickly or dramatically as that. Suddenly, if you're bringing in one third of the income that you used to but are spending the same amount you used to, you have some serious challenges.

MG: Someone from outside the publishing world might wonder why a magazine that had such a lucrative two or three years didn't have a stockpile of saved cash to weather an eventual downturn.

JD: It doesn't really work that way. Most magazines aren't even profitable until year five because you have to spend a lot in marketing, a lot in branding, a lot in getting your name out there. So a lot of that money you're bringing in is just going right back into the magazine. We were unusual in that way. We were profitable by the end of our first year because we had such a small outlay. We had a lot fewer people on the staff; we didn't spend as much on marketing; etc.

MG: Obviously, AOL Time Warner noticed that. What's the history of that acquisition? As I understand it, Time Warner was interested in Business 2.0 almost from its inception and before Time Warner merged with AOL.

JD: They had approached us after issue three in early 1998. That didn't happen. They wanted to get into this space, and they did eventually. So they launched their own publication, which was eCompany Now. It didn't do all that well. It was losing a lot of money. But what happened with Business 2.0 is that our parent company got into a serious hole. They had launched a lot of publications and they were getting pretty badly hit. They needed money and the crown jewel of the organisation was Business 2.0. So late last year, the idea was brought up to sell Business 2.0, and AOL Time Warner was still interested.

MG: Considering that AOL Time Warner didn't keep most of the Business 2.0 staff, is Business 2.0 still the same magazine?

JD: No, it's not. It's a relaunch of eCompany Now. You can take the name, sure -- but it's the people that make up the DNA of a magazine. You can put Business 2.0 on Popular Science, and it doesn't make it Business 2.0. The fact is that we had believed and hoped that there was going to be a more equitable split of people -- that it would be 50-50, the best of both teams. But it wasn't. They decided they didn't want to do that.

MG: So now that you're free and clear for the first time in four years, what are your career plans going forward?

JD: I just got back from this trip, which was a great way to refresh my batteries. I've been talking to a lot of people lately about all kinds of things -- working on some new startups or working on some books...

MG: Are there any startups left out there?

JD: (Laughs) Yeah, there still are. What I like the most about Business 2.0 was actually starting it. When you have a small team, it's much easier to get a sense of the unity and mission -- and the zealotry in a way. We were all zealots and put a lot of energy and time and devotion and creativity into the magazine, which you can certainly do with a bigger magazine as well. But when you have a smaller organisation, it's a lot easier to all read from the same sheet of music. I really love that energy. Just as there were three years ago, there's a lot of good ideas and a lot of kooky ideas. I don't want to get involved in any kooky ideas, but there are certainly opportunities for new companies.

MG: Would you stick with magazines or some kind of content business?

JD: I think so. I've been in journalism for 20 years. I love the magazine tradition. I love the art of the magazine craft. It's the most fun for me. It's the most energising area of journalism. I'd like to stick with that because I still get a huge charge out of it, even two decades later.

MG: Of course, it seems to be a thinning field these days. What's your prognosis for the future of technology business magazines?

JD: You really have a different ballgame going on right now. In the past, you've seen a lot of independent publications in this space bought up by the major media houses. You saw Wired bought by Conde Nast. You saw Fast Company bought by Gruner & Jahr. You saw Business 2.0 bought by AOL Time Warner. So it's a different battle. It's more the war of the titans. Who can spend more on marketing? Who can really wrap their ad packages in with five other magazines? This is the evolution of successful companies. We were able to sell Business 2.0 because we were an attractive, successful property. Successful properties evolve and mutate and change. I still think the story that Business 2.0 is built on has a lot of legs. AOL Time Warner just spent $60 million on it. They're going to put a lot of inertia into it, and from a marketing standpoint it seems like part of AOL already.

MG: With all of these magazines now in the hands of media giants, isn't it somewhat unrealistic for an independent startup to compete in that space?

JD: I think it would be tough. Someone just asked me the other day, "If you launched Business 2.0 today would it be successful?" And I said,"It would not. It would not be successful if it was launched in the same form." One of the first things we did in our very first issue was look at the 10 driving principles of the new economy. We went to a lot of people and asked what is different about the way business is being done right now in terms of how you market to customers, retain customers, etc. We distilled that down until we figured out our constitution -- our marching orders for the magazine. In the beginning, we had an ad campaign: "Do you get it?" Because some people did and some people didn't. But now I think everyone gets it, and if you went in and launched a magazine that said, "Hey, here's a story you may not have heard of, and it's going to change business in a fundamental way," you'd be laughed out of the room. Also, the economy is in a dumper right now. Ads were down this year in magazines, but I think pretty much everyone is in a lockdown right now at least until the end of year, especially with what happened on September 11 putting a cloud over things. Where is consumer confidence going? Where is spending going? I think everyone is in a bit of a wait-and-see mode. So to generate advertising for a broad-based consumer magazine would be very difficult right now.

MG: It seems like everybody got a little ahead of themselves in the late nineties, but now it seems like the retraction is just as exaggerated. Do you still believe the Internet will change everything?

JD: Yeah. It already has. Do you think companies are going to go back to the way they were acquiring customers, retaining customers, and marketing to customers? Do you think they are going to go back to the way they were doing that four or five years ago? Do you think the growth of the Internet will slow? Do you think the speed of getting online and moving around is going to go backwards? It's not. It's going to go forward. What we've seen is a slowdown or a falter-step here, but the story really does remain very strong. It's kind of like the growth of the PC industry in the eighties: They had a couple of up years, a couple of down years, but the growth still remained strong. Another thing is that you almost have to take out the growth figures form last year because 1999 was such an aberration. Everything had to come down from that. But if you look at the growth rates from 1998 to 2001, you still see it going on an up curve. We had one of the most incredible years of our lives, and then we had one of the worst years of our lives back to back. Hopefully, there will be a leavening of that. People tend to react in extreme ways.

MG: Funny that few seemed to publicly predict this huge crash in 1999.

JD: Well, it couldn't last, but you have to make hay when the sun is shining. That's what we did. We worked ourselves to death because it was an exciting time. In some ways, I miss those days because everything was about possibilities and being able to achieve and reach for the stars. Now, everything is about retrenchment and caution and, "Do we really want to do this?" The energy is really not there.

MG: Back then, it seemed like everyone wanted to be an entrepreneur.

JD: Yeah, and a lot of those guys are back to doing what they used to be doing. There were a lot of cockamamie ideas but people still said, we could do this if we try. I miss that kind of enthusiasm.

MG: Of course, there were a lot of Gordon Geckos out there too.

JD: That's true. A lot of people wanted to do it for the wrong reasons. A lot of companies that were being launched were just stock market plays. I was approached by people who would say, "Yeah, we're going to start this company, it's going to be worth a billion and a half in 18 months." But there are also companies like Amazon and Yahoo! and eBay. You're also seeing the evolution and the creation of companies that are the CBSs and General Electrics of our day -- big companies that are going to be around for a long time. It's a lot of fun to watch that as a journalist.